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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A Serious Topic

I consider this my fun blog because food is a fun topic, but today I want to address something more serious after seeing something last night.

I have made two goals this year that are probably incompatible with each other. The first is to cook new things and start getting back into more complex baking. The other is to lose 15-20 pounds. Can I do one and still do the other? I guess it's all about what I cook and how often I bake.

I have been slowly losing weight this year by working out with a personal trainer and using The Beck Diet Solution to keep my eating under control. (If you want to get bored, I started yet another blog to track my progress.) I make sure all of my meals are planned. I prepare my own food most of the time. I don't eat out much. I try to stick with as much fresh food as possible and avoid convenience foods. So far it's been working. I have lost 4 pounds since the year started.

With so many cooking shows on the air, so many cookbooks cluttering up the shelves of every store imaginable, and so many public service announcements reminding us about our health these days, it almost seems as if there shouldn't be an excuse not to eat right. The information is there. The guidance is there. You can find a hundred cooks out there willing to show you how to quickly make a meal from whole foods. The message is out there. Everyone knows how to be healthy, but so many people simply ignore the message.

I started thinking about this last night when I was buying some groceries at the A&P. I was putting a variety of fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables, skinless chicken, skim milk, and nuts on the conveyor belt. I suppose I was feeling a sense of smug self-righteousness. The food police couldn't look into my cart and tell me I was doing something wrong.

Then I saw the stuff that was on the belt from the woman in front of me. It was appalling - just appalling. There were two bottles of Coke, 2 boxes of crackers, a package of pork chops, a variety pack of snack-sized chips, and (irony of ironies) a 12-pack of Slim Fast. I couldn't stop staring at it. I kept thinking, "How can anyone live like this?" There wasn't a single fresh, unprocessed item there other than the pork chops. There was no fruit, not even juice. There were no vegetables, not even a canned one. I am not someone who would ever look down on someone because of her size. I don't like making assumptions about people's lifestyles. Despite that, when I looked at the woman buying those groceries, I saw that she looked to be a good 100 pounds over weight. I thought, "There is a reason you look like that, Lady, and the Slim Fast isn't going to help." Had she appeared to be a low-income woman I might have gone easier on her because I know it's difficult for low-income families to buy fresh food and they don't have access to the kind of nutrition help that wealthier people have. This was clearly not the case. This woman was quite well dressed, well-coiffed, and well-made up. Everything about her screamed, "Upper Middle Class."

We have a rampant obesity problem in this country and a climbing rate of obesity-related disease. Children are getting Type 2 diabetes. Everyone knows there is a problem, but while the group recognizes the problem, individuals do not want to do anything about it. I know that our culture has become overly food-oriented. I know the food industry has established a massive marketing machine that it does everything but shovel food directly into our mouths. I have to ask why we let them drown out other voices? Rachael Ray is so immensely popular, and while typing that made me cringe with loathing, I will say that she at least cooks meals with mostly fresh food. If she's so popular, why aren't more people following her lead and cooking with more fresh ingredients? (Remove the massive amounts of cheese, bacon, and oil please.)

Eating properly is hard. I know that. One of the problems I have always had with losing weight is that there are so many easier options out there. I sometimes feel tired of doing the right thing. Making a bowl of oatmeal or some eggs in the morning is not nearly as easy or as temporarily satisfying as a latte and a muffin from Starbucks. Preparing a turkey sandwich on wholewheat and sticking it in a brown bag is harder, and often less appealing, than an Italian combo wedge from the deli or a slice of pizza (or three). It's much easier to stop having to plan, stop having to do the work, and just order something made by someone else. Sometimes it just tastes better. But what is that temporary satisfaction, that moment of convenience, when you compare it to the long-term consequences. My grandmother is diabetic. I don't want to be diabetic too. I don't want to suffer from knee and back problems that come from the strain of carrying around excess weight. On a more superficial note, I'm sick of looking at vacation pictures and seeing all of the shots my husband takes of me in a bathing suit and thinking, "YUCK! I look terrible." I want to look hot (or as hot as a frizzy-haired, lilliputian woman nearing 40 can look).

What would we do if there weren't easier options? What if there were no convenience foods? What if every Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks and pizza shop and deli all disappeared? What if I still had to go to work and take care of my husband and could still participate in all of my activities despite the lack of convenience? I'd make my own meals and snacks all of the time, wouldn't I? People made their own meals from fresh foods throughout history. They made their own meals despite working from sunrise to sunset on the farm. They made their own meals without microwaves or even electric and gas stoves and refrigeration. We claim we have "no time" but I would wager many Americans truly have no grasp of what "no time" really means. There are people out there who would have plenty of time if they turned off the TV (including the Food Network) and shut off the computer.

I went home that night, made some chicken cutlets (Ina must have inspired me) and garlic-lemon broccoli (I even used frozen broccoli) and it took me about 40 minutes. During that evening I also made lunch for today, took out the trash, and even watched a little TV. I feel asleep around 10 PM (I was up at 5:30 to work out with my trainer) and overall felt pretty good about my day and my health. How did the woman in line feel after her meal of pork chops and Coke? I hope she felt better than I fear she did. Still, I hope she learns how much better it feels to do what's right.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Food for Thought from The Barefoot Contessa

I had the TV in the office lunch room to myself today. Normally I don't turn on the Food Network when that happens because my lunch hour tends to coincide with Semi-Homemade. I had an early lunch today and was able to watch the Barefoot Contessa. I put aside the anti-Hamptons thing and took notes.

As always, Ina was cooking dinner for her fabulous Hampton friends. (Okay, maybe I didn't completely put aside the Hamptons thing). She made cream of mushroom soup, blinis with smoked salmon, and, to make sure she didn't offend her mystery guest, parmesan chicken.

The chicken breasts were no different from the regular breaded chicken cutlets all of us make except for the fact that she added fresh parmesan cheese to the (pre-seasoned and store bought) bread crumbs. Well, we all like our chicken cutlets, but is this something you want to be served if you're going to a dinner party at the home of a world-class caterer? She served just a simple salad (lettuce and a lemony dressing) on top of it.

Then for dessert she went into her upscale Hamptons cheese shop (there it goes again) and bought a wedge of stilton (I would have much preferred she went with the aged gouda). She served with pears. She never turned on the oven to make dessert.

I started thinking about how I make dinner parties. I feel a need to go all out. I have to make everything myself. If I serve pre-dinner nibbles, it's often homemade dips. Then I put together a soup, a salad or a pasta. Dinner is always protein, veggie, and starch. Dessert MUST be homemade.

While there is nothing wrong with how either Ina or I do our dinner parties, she made me consider whether or not my meals are a bit too baroque. How often have I had to scrape uneaten food off of plates because it's just more than one person can handle? How many desserts have been only partitally eaten? How did it feel when I decided I should have extra dessert and bought cannoli from the bakery and have a guest snarf a couple of them and ignore my homemade turtle pie? Do I need to be this excessive with my dinner parties? Of course I don't!

I guess I do this because I want to be admired. I want people to be impressed. There is part of me that does it because I do love to cook and I love to feed people. Making this much food feeds into both my creative and nurturing sides. I still have to wonder if someone who cooks by the seat of her pants and has no formal training and rather unusual taste buds (They're often not very discerning unless you feed me seafood, peas, olives, lima beans, blue cheese or grapefruit) is simply is covering up her lack of skills by cooking everything from scratch and making tons of food so people will be so impressed that they won't notice all of the faults. I would be afraid to have a professional chef eat at my home for fear I'd be exposed as as fraud.

(Although I can still brag that a few years ago I went to a party at my brother's house and his stepson had a friend with him and that friend had just started working at La Panetierre who complimented me quite a bit on the cookies I brought.)

Ina shows again and again that simple foods, prepared well are just as big of a crowd pleaser. She doesn't aim to impress people. People like chicken cutlets. Who doesn't like chicken cutlets? She served food people like! What a concept. What is the need to go overboard? Make something and make it well. It's a simple idea I seem to forget. Maybe instead of cooking the biggest dinner possible, I should just make some well-executed chicken cutlets and salad with lemon dressing and let the food speak for itself.

Then again, did guests rave over Ina's food because she does such an exceptionally good job over it, or did they simply gush because Ina made it? A lesser cook might have received fewer kudos for doing the exact same thing.

I do know Ina is really going overboard with smoked salmon. While looking through past shows on the Food Network website, I saw it show up an awful lot. Maybe that's another reason I don't watch her show that much (aside from that Hamptons thing) is that she cooks too often with ingredients I don't like. Ina, there are other appetizer foods out there.

On a side note, I wish she, and most of the other female cooks on FN, would tie back her hair. Sara Moulton wore a ponytail. Giada wears one about half the time. Ina, Rachael, Sandra and Ingrid are always cooking with their hair hanging in their faces. Yuck! I know Ina's hair isn't that long, but she could at least clip back the strands that hang down in the front. Despite what you see in my Thanksgiving photo, I always tie my hair back when I doing the actually cooking.

I do know that if I could get my picky husband to eat mud if Mel Brooks were coming to dinner!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Super Bowl Snacks

I'm not a sports fan at all and generally cringe at the words Super Bowl Sunday. I do have friends who have Super Bowl parties though. I usually just go, hang out, eat too much, and fall asleep during the game.

This year I've been challenged to help a fellow blogger come up with party ideas, so I thought I'd do my part. I needed to come up with something simple and vegetarian.

My mother occasionally makes a white bean dip with oil-poached garlic that is to die for. She uses the oil she poaches the garlic in to brush over pita triangles for dipping. It's a great alternative to heavier foods like cheese at parties.

I'm too lazy to make oil-poached garlic, so my version is just roasted. This is so easy, it's almost self-explanatory.

Garlic and Rosemary White Bean Dip

2 15 oz. cans cannellini (white kidney) beans rinses and drained
1 whole head garlic
1 Tbl. chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 olive oil plus more for drizzling
1 Tbl. fresh lemon juice (optional)
Salt to taste

Roast garlic. Preheat over to 300 degrees. Cut the top off the head of garlic and loosely wrap in aluminum foil. Drizzle with olive oil. Roast for one hour.

Place remaining ingredients in a food processor. When garlic is roasted, squeeze soft garlic pulp out and add to the food proceesor with remaining ingredients. Process till smooth.

Serve with pita triangles

Pita Triangles

6 6" pita bread rounds
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tsp. salt
1 clove garlic finely minced
1 tsp. chopped fresh thyme

Preheat over to 400 degrees. Add thyme and salt to oil and let sit to let the flavors meld. Cut pitas into 8 wedges. Lightly brush mixture over pita triangles. Spread out on a cookie sheet and bake 15-20 minutes. Watch carefully. Ovens can vary wildly on how quickly these will crisp up and how quickly they will burn.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

When Life Hands You Lemons...(or oranges)

For some reason my mother-in-law sent Kevin and me a big box of oranges. We received them two days ago. When I saw the box I asked, "What are we supposed to do with all of these oranges?" Kevin replied, "Eat them." Yeah Yeah. My husband used to be a professional comedian. Obviously we eat them, but there seemed to be more than what the two of us could possibly eat. He was urging me to take them with me to work with me for lunch or snacks yesterday, but I had a whole kitchen full of fruit I had purchased earlier in the week.

It was time for Disorder Cook to find other ways to put them to use. I went to the website and looked up recipes for oranges and chicken - and promptly rejected them all.

Last night I took two of those oranges and juiced them. I zested one of them.

I mixed the juice with two tablespoons of red wine vinegar and a tablespoon of chopped fresh rosemary. I hestitated on the next step, but ended up adding a clove of minced garlic.

Next I pounded some boneless skinless chicken thighs and dredged them in seasoned flour. I sauteed them in olive oil and butter until nice and brown. Then I took them out and kept them warm and added the OJ mixture to the pan. I let the whole thing reduce down a bit and poured that over the chicken.

Meanwhile I added a cinnamon and cumin to chicken stock and used the mixture to cook some rice in. When it was cooked, I threw in handfuls of sliced almonds and chopped dried apricots.

The last thing I did was thaw some frozen green beans in the microwave. (What? You expect me to clean, trim, and steam fresh green beans on a weeknight? Rachael Ray exists for a reason folks. I refuse to feel guilty.) I mixed the orange zest with a quarter cup of olive oil, 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar, and a teaspoon of dried oregano.

All in all it was a good meal. I wasn't sure if all of the flavors of all three dishes would tie together well. I think the chicken sauce could have been sweeter (or else a little white wine would have been nice too). My rice came out gloppy (my fault), but it's other fault was that it was a little too sweet. Kevin thought it contained oranges and it was the only thing I made that had no orange in it.

Now I'm thinking of ways I can turn the oranges into dessert.

Or maybe I could just eat them by themselves?

Monday, January 14, 2008

Photos - Better Late Than Never

I finally got my husband to upload this Thanksgiving photos. I was hoping there would be more. My father took more . He had pictures of the entire buffet (which I really wanted to see), but he never bothered to send them to me and now he's on a cruise to Australia.

Anyway, here is what I have.



Would you eat a turkey from this woman?

My Bro' carves. It seems my uncle approves.


Will the real Penelope please stand up?

(Okay. I know it has nothing to do with food, but it was too cute not to include.)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Cinnamon Soup Anyone?

Here is another one for the Bizarre Kitchen Disaster files.

Monday night I had some spare time, so I finally pulled my Thanksgiving turkey carcass out of the freezer and boiled it down for stock. I was planning to use that stock to make some soup for lunch and dinner over the next couple of weeks.

I put my carcass with water and veggies into the new stock pot I got for Christmas and let it simmer. Then I got to work on making dinner. I was making a very simple meal of chicken in a mushroom, garlic and wine sauce with garlic broccolini. There weren't any complex flavors in the dish. I wasn't expecting anything weird to happen.

As dinner began to cook, I began to notice the oddest smell. It wasn't a bad smell, but it didn't smell like garlic or wine at all. It smelled like sweet spices. I was sticking my nose in the pan trying to figure out exactly where this smell was coming from. Were the mushrooms special? Was it the wine? Why was I smelling this?

After a while I started realizing the smell was coming not from the pan I was cooking dinner in, but from the stock pot with the turkey carcass. I realized that my turkey was brined. I had brined it in cider and allspice berries and ginger and I don't even remember what else. I recalled the warnings of Sue who said my drippings, and thus my gravy, might taste weird from the brine. I hadn't noticed my gravy tasting like the brine, but I was so Thanksgiving-food-weary by the time I ate it that maybe I just wasn't tasting anything. My brine was coming out in the stock. It must have been. There was no other explanation. I took a taste of my stock. It definitely had a flavor to it other than turkey and carrots and onions. It wasn't inedible though.

When my stock had simmered long enough, I lifted my carcass out of the pot. That's when I saw where the sweet spicy smell had come from. It wasn't the fault of the brine. It was my own stupid fault.

The aromatics I had stuffed into the cavity when I roasted the turkey consisted of an apple, an onion and two cinnamon sticks. When my brother carved the turkey, he removed the apple. I saw he had placed it on the platter. I just assumed he removed everything else.

I pulled that turkey out of the pot. That's when I saw the culprit of that sweet scent. Two bloated cinnamon sticks fell out. They had never been removed when the turkey was carved and I never checked to see if anything was still inside it.

I still kept the cinnamony broth. I made a barley soup last night. My husband said it tasted "different", but not bad. Maybe I have invented a new recipe? I'm not sure. I'd be hesitant to make cinnamon flavored soup again.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Just Don't Call It Dan

One of my new year's resolutions (or as I prefer to call them, "goals") this year is to cook things I haven't ever cooked before. One of my possibilities on the list was duck. I love duck and have never made it before.

A month from tomorrow is my mother-in-law's birthday dinner. She and her friends will eat just about anything I cook and rave about it. This year I had a horrible fear of it becoming more complicated. Kevin's cousin David is also joining us. That struck a certain fear in my heart.

I'm not afraid of David himself. I like David. The problem is that David is probably the most religiously observant member of the family (which is like saying Rachael Ray is a better cook than Sandra Lee). At least he appears that way outwardly. In December he doesn't send generic holiday cards. He sends a Hanukah card and only a Hanukah card. (We don't see him that much, he talks more to Kevin than to me, and he didn't come to our wedding, so I'm not sure if he knows Kevin married a gentile). He calls on Rosh Hoshanna every year to wish us a happy new year (the only one of Kevin's familiy members to actually do this). I went to the cemetary with David and Kevin and Kevin's mother a couple of years ago to visit the graves of their grandparents and David's mother. David very reverentially donned a yarmulke and pulled out a prayer book at his mother's gravesite.

When Kevin invited him over for dinner, that panic set in. All I could think was, "Does he observe dietary laws?" It's not as if I cook a lot of pork in my household since Kevin's sensitive widdle tum-tum can't handle it, but I freely mix the meats and the dairy at every dinner party. When I had been planning a dinner party for the MIL, I had been thinking of starting the meal with risotto or serving a savory bread pudding as a side dish. My entrees are almost always chicken (the one food Kevin and I agree on). Dairy dairy everywhere! I knew that I could make a dairy-free appetizer and main course. I considered a first course of soup and found several great dairy-free (at least if you don't garnish it), soup recipes. I could make non-dairy entrees and side dishes without a problem. What sent me into a panic was dessert. How could I make a dairy-free dessert? What is cake without butter? I had three choices. I could make a fruit pie with a shortening crust, an angel food cake with fruit (BOR-ing), or bite the bullet and make a cake with *shudder* margarine.

But all that panic was for nothing. David said he had no dietary issues. I can make whatever I want. Phew. I considered making the totally non-kosher, dinner party standby of mine of Chicken in Port Wine.

That brings me to the next point. Yes, I'm that crazy that I like to plan menus a month in advance. I'll talk about the rest of the menu after I make it. But I came across an intereting idea that I'm exploring at the moment and it has to do with my New Year's Goal.

There is an amazing Italian deli on my block. They make their own dried sausages and some a couple of cheeses as well as carrying a dizzying array of Italian imports. I was in there this past Saturday just buying a sandwich when I noticed a woman on line ahead of me who was ordering a load of strange foods. I noticed that on the counter in front of her she had a package of quails.

I've had quail only twice in my life. Once was part of a mixed grill I enjoyed during a holiday dinner at Turnberry Isle . The second was at a Brazilian rodizio restaurant. Both times I enjoyed it, finding the flavor pleasingly similar to duck. I never tried making them though since they're not generally available at my local supermarket. I never knew they were available at the deli down the street. I asked the woman on line if they always sold quails at the deli and she answered in the affirmative. She pointed to the refrigerator case behind us that contained all of their fresh pastas. Suddenly I had a new inspiration for my next dinner party.

It's a good thing I'm planning this a month in advance because finding the right recipe seems to be the hard part. It seems that most recipes fall under one of three categories.

1. They are grilled. I have no use for grill recipes. I live in an apartment.
2. They are stuffed with or covered with things like bacon and sausage, which are no-nos for my husband.
3. They are just way too complicated and required lots of time commitments and ingredients. I don't want to spend my day boiling down my own stock to cook birds that are going to take 30 minutes to cook.

I found two that might be possibilities. There is this and there is this one. I'm sure I can come up with something in a month. If not, I'll be making that chicken in port wine, which has always been a winner. It won't be the same challenge though. This mene started out with a potential challenge and I am giving myself another one.

I know if I make quails my husband will be jokingly whining about the "poor little birds". He'll make me feel bad about eating Dan. (You should have heard him go on about that poor little guy when I put a whole turkey in the oven.)

Well, maybe I might like the idea of eating Dan!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Do You Dream of Food?

Two nights ago I had a dream. In my dream I wanted a snack. I was looking for some chocolate. I ended up in some kind of bookstore/internet cafe and I was seated at what looked like a library carrel with a TV and video console set up. I was about to enjoy a video of some kind when a waiter walked up to me and brought me what I must have ordered. He said, "Hot chocolate and chocolate pudding." The hot chocolate came in a small cup and was one of those french style, no-actual-milk-or-water-needed types. The pudding was more like a creme brulee without the brulee. It was silky and light and beneath a blanket of whipped cream - or at least that's how I almost thought it would be because as soon as I took my first bite, I woke up.

I know the inspiration for the dream. The day before I had been reading an article about The Dessert Truck (which I really want to try one day). It said that a hot chocolate from the Dessert Truck becomes a lovely chocolate pudding the next day. So I know why I had that particular dream, but I never understand why I have such frustrating dreams about food pretty regularly.

All of my life I have been plagued by recurring dreams along one theme - eating and waking.

In the first type of dream, I usually to go a restaurant, or some other place where food is being offered to me. My favorite type of dream is where the restaurant is in some unexpected place. It's usually some hole-in-the-wall (almost literally) that somehow becomes a lovely, kitschy restaurant once I enter it. This isn't always the type of restaurant I end up in, but I guess I love it when my dreams express my desire to find out-of-the-way places. I sit down and I'm about to order something, but the menu is never clear. Something keeps me from reading it. I try to look at it, but someone distracts me, or something blocks my view of it. Sometimes the menu doesn't have food printed on it. There is advertising or restaurant history, or any number of things that make me keep turning the pages before I can see what actual food is being served. I'm on the brink of just saying, "What's the recommended dish?" before I just wake up.

In the next type of dream, food is actually presented to me. Sometimes it is presented to me the way it was the other night. Sometimes there is a gorgeous buffet. The end result is always the same. As soon as I take a bite, I wake up. Sometimes I don't even get to take that first bite. I just can't dream about eating. I can only dream about wanting food.

I have one particularly vivid memory of a dream of eating a delicious bite of chicken and chewing on it only to wake up finding myself chewing on a piece of loosened orthodontic wax (I told you I have had these dreams all of my life).

I asked my husband if he ever had dreams like that. He said, "No. It's just not important to me."

Does food represent something else in my dreams, or is food just that important to me?

Hmmm...I write a blog entirely about food. You tell me how important food is to me!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year!

Wishing everyone who reads this a very happy and healthy 2008 filled with many great meals.

I had a quiet New Year's Eve. Kevin and I stayed local and ate at Trinity Grill in Harrison.

Trinity Grill is a place with a history. The building that houses it was once the Harrison's first restaurant. It was called Risoli's. It was a classic bar and grill type place. It was a little seedy, a little dark, and very popular with Good Old Boys in town. It also hosted a lot of bands and parties. When the Risoli children and grandchildren grew tired of running it, they sold it to the Cahill family, who turned it into Trinity Grill.

The Cahills kept the bar and grill idea, but elevated it. They didn't change the wonderful historic aspect of the building. The original wood floors and wall panels and bar are all still there, but they lightened up the decor a bit. The place has a lovely, airy feel. The menu, however, is varied and original. There is really something on the menu for everyone (unless you're a strict vegetarian/vegan) and has some interesting spins on classic ideas. Prices are faily moderate too.

Although the Times was a bit critical of it, I don't know anyone who doesn't like Trinity. MOst people agree that their Penne Vodka is unrivaled.

In short, it's a real go-to restaurant when you don't have the money to spend on something seriously upscale, but are looking for a really nice meal with loved ones. We do a lot of family birthdays there. Kevin and I had both our engagement party and rehearsal dinner in their banquet room.

My meal began with their standard basket of warm focaccia and herb butter. I ordered a glass of pinot noir to drink.

My first course was a salad with arugula, mandarin oranges, fennel, pine nuts, and shave ricotta salata. The dressing was very light.

I ordered the duck in cherry sauce for my next course. I like ordering duck in restaurants as it's something I have never made myself (I think I should make a resolution in 2008 to try making duck at least once). The duck came with a side of tasty pineapple orzo and haricot verts and julienned carrots in butter sauce. My only complaint was that the duck was a little dry. It's been better other times I have been there. Kevin had a house salad and a bowl of smoked mozzarella and spinach ravioli with chicken.

For dessert I decided to keep things light (I guess working out with my personal trainer earlier that day made the guilt kick in a little). I had a crepe that enclosed a medley of fresh berries and bananas with whipped cream. The crepe sat on a bed of caramel flavored creme anglaise. I now am dying to find a recipe for caramel creme anglaise. I think it would be wonderful in a trifle. Kevin went with his classic favorite of the Toll House Cookie sundae.

Service, which is always friendly and efficient, was a little too quick last night. We had an 8:00 reservation and we were out of there at 8:55. Dishes just came flying out of the kitchen. We would have been out of there 15 minutes earlier if they hadn't slowed down so much for dessert. I guess my crepe took some time to prepare.

We went to bed not long after we got home. If I'm partying with friends I will stay up till midnight, but I'm not a night person, so I'm not going to make myself stay up that late just to watch a lit ball fall on TV. I'd never stay awake.