Monday, May 19, 2008

FN Ladies, Please do something about the HAIR

Remember Sara Moulton? She always appeared on TV looking neat and professional with her long hair tied back.

Why will no one else follow her example?

Yesterday morning I was puttering around the house, getting ready for the matinee performance and occasionally catching bits of FN. I saw a whole lot of female cooks that day and a whole of lot HAIR. It's really pissing me off.

First I caught the end of this new show. The food didn't look bad, but the hostess was incredibly annoying. She talked a mile a minute Rachael Ray looks quiet by comparison. Maybe it's just new show nerves and this woman will calm down eventually, so for now I forgive her for it. What I don't forgive her for was her cascading long blond mane that looked as if it could fall into her food at any minute. Would a ponytail be too much trouble.

Next I caught some Ina Garten. I know Ina's hair is too short for a ponytail, but she constantly has that stringy hair of hers falling forward. She needs a barette or two, a headband, a hairnet, SOMETHING. When her hair falls forward into her face, does she have to keep pushing it back? Do I want to know?

I caught a few minutes of Sunny Anderson as well. Another cook with no concept of kitchen sanitation. If she were in a professional kitchen, would her hair be cascading down her neck like that? It's a nice style, but the kitchen is no place to be showing off your great hair.

I don't need to watch the Food Network to know that Rachael Ray never ties her hair back. I guess ponytails are too intimidating for her needs-it-dumbed-down audience. I think I saw some old footage once of her pre-FN show. Her hair was in a ponytail then. What gives? She has a habit of touching herself a lot. I keep thinking she must be getting hair in her food.

I haven't watched any of the new Ingrid Hoffman shows. I understand that both the food and her image have improved. She's toned down the whole blonde-and-cleavage thing. I caught a coming attraction or two. Her hair may not be as blonde, but it's still down and threatening to shed right into the salsa.

Giada is the only one who ties her hair back, but she only does it about half the time. Sandra Lee puts her hair up if it fits with the theme of her outfit.

I know FN wants it to be all about looks, but cooking isn't about looks! You can tie your hair back and still look good. This is basic kitchen sanitation folks.

On a completely different note, the show was quite a success. Once I was out in front of an audience I really had fun. I feel like I really come alive in a whole new way on stage. I got a lot of compliments on my performance. People don't just tell me they like my singing and dancing, but they like my presence and how I carry myself. I guess a big smile can cover a lot of flubs (because I certainly had a few in dance numbers).

Kevin tried to take photos, but he wasn't in a good seat to get many. Same with video. I'll have to pay for the professional one and maybe if I'm lucky I can find a way to get some of it online, but I'm not counting on it. Kevin did snap a photo or two during intermission.

Meet Dixie Andrews. Think of her as Maxine's evil twin. We had an awesome hairstylist for this show.


StickyGooeyCreamyChewy said...

So glad the show was a success! It sounded like a lot of fun. Most of the time the audience never notices the flubs, so you just smile and keep on going. :D

Stop on over to my place when you get a chance. There's a little surprise for you. ;)

Emiline said...

Oh, I love it. I love the hair and the dresses. Retro stuff rocks. Congrats! Do you perform it more than once? You might have mentioned that...

I get hair in my food when it's TIED BACK, so I can't imagine how much hair gets in their food.
I have a lot of hair, though.

I'd love to hear the story behind you blog name...someday.

Sue said...

Forgive me for commenting so late! Congratulations on your triumph! That picture is gorgeous. I love the really suits you. Where is the link to the rave reviews in your local paper? If you get the video, you can absolutely take pictures of it. You just pause it and fiddle around with your camera until it looks good and then you snap it.

Who is the new talkative FN person you're talking about? You are so right about the hair, which just goes to show it's about the package and the entertainment value, not the cooking. I'm not saying that's always a bad thing, but that IS what they are concerned with.

We Are never full said...

LOVE show makeup! When I used to do musicals in high school it used to take like 30 minutes to take it all off!

also, i do get kind of skeeved out about the way the women of the food network look. not only am i worried about hair going into the salsa/tomato sauce/tablescape, etc. i'm worried about a boob landing in it too!! nasty...